Ways To Annoy The Cast Of Twilight!
by Kaito Lune
Summary: These are ways to annoy the Twilight cast by me and my friends. Requests are taken! Chapter 1: Vouturi and Jacob Black! Review and enjoy! Rated T just to be safe.
1. Weird Guards and a Fake Werewolf

**I don't own Twilight! Nor do I wish to own it!**

Ways to Annoy the Voultri!

Roll in sparkles and run around in the sunlight.

Do that in their city and shout "Look! I'm sparkly!"

When they come to kill you, hide in the sunlight.

Give the heads crutches.

Show them the Twilight series. Tell them everyone's read them and say "Happy Hunting!"

Poke them until they fall apart.

Tell them to catch up with their sleep for at least the next thousand years.

Release a werewolf (a real werewolf) underground.

Do that in their city.

Tell them the Cullens are cooler.

Make people disappear randomly in their city and blame it on their guards. (namely Jane!)

Call them fake vampires.

Trick them into going into the sunlight during a festival in the city.

Trick them into drinking animal blood.

Call them names that relate to how old and brittle they are.

Bonus: Do all of it and run for your life! ^^

Ways to annoy Jacob Black

Make him read the Twilight series.

Tell him Edward is better than him.

Give him puppy chow in a doggy bowl.

Put team Edward posters in his room.

Make him wear a team Edward T-shirt.

Call him a dog, pup, mongrel, ect.

Put him in the same room with Rosalie and watch all hell break lose.

Steal all his clothes while he's away.

Put him in a room with Paul for two weeks with nothing but potato chips for company.

Give his clothes to fan girls.

Give fan girls his address.

Kidnap Renesmee.

Spread rumors that he's on steroids.

Get Leah to annoy him.

Tell him vampires are cooler that wearwolfs.

Tell Him that Bella hates him.

Write 'vampires rule' all over his Rabbit.

Write love letters to him and sign it as Rosalie.

Do that but sign it as Edward.

Do it again but sign it as Leah.

When he's about to kill them, blame Sam.

Tell him that Embry thinks he's hot. (And I don't mean in temperature.)

Pay Leah to kiss some boy and have her think about it while in wolf form.

Then blame Edward and Rosalie.

Blind fold him and Leah. Tell her she's kissing Sam and tell him he's kissing Bella. Then have them kiss.


	2. Mary Sue and Fasion Disaster!

**To all Twilight fans and haters, I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!! DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS?!**

Ways to annoy Bella

Say she's a mary sue.

Call Renesmee Nessie.

Tell her Edward has left and is never returning.

Tell her Edward went to Voltura.

Tell her that Edward isn't interested in her.

Tell her Edward is cheating on her with Tanya.

Kidnap Renesmee . . .

And demand that she returns to being a human . . .

. . . then blame it on Jacob.

Say she has horrible cooking skills.

Tell her that seducing a vampire is complete suicide.

Throw her in front of a bus and distract Edward with something sparkly. (Like silver).

When she doesn't die, tell her it's not fair to humans.

Make her watch vampire movies like "Blade" and "Vanhelsing" and say those are real vampires.

Call Edward gay because he sparkles. (This is a bonus because this will also piss off Edward and any other vampire in the series.)

Tell her that she should date someone her age.

Trick her into a date with Edward, Mike, Jacob, Eric, and Tyler at the _same time_!

Blame it all on Alice.

Trick her into letting Alice dress her up every day.

Send the Edward and Jacob fangirls on her.

Ways to annoy Alice.

Tell her she has bad fashion sense.

Tell her, her extra ability is dumb.

Tell her you know a better psychic.

Tell you that you hate her porche. The color yellow is no longer in.

Trash her porche.

Blame it on Jasper _and _Emmett.

Tell her that Jasper is cheating on her with Bella. (Bonus points if you piss Edward off)

Talk Bella into doing a death defying stunt. When Alice sees it, make Bella change her mind in the last second.

Trash her closet.

Burn her clothes then buy her new ones that are very out of style.

Close her bank account and blow the money on something else so she can't by clothes.

Say clothes are a thing of the past.

Give the fanboys her number.

Ask her to tell you future every ten seconds.

Sick the Jasper fangirls on her and run for your life.


End file.
